Stargate KP1
by Binkmeister
Summary: Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable find themselves lost on a distant planet, with only each other and a broken Stargate. Until they meet a team searching for an ancient technology...


Stargate KP-1

Another crate thumped to the floor in front of Drakken. Shego waved away the latest cloud of dust and sneezed. "Doctor D, isn't this kind of overkill? I mean, look at all this junk. It's like the Mummy's garage sale rejects." A thin layer of dust coated both Drakken and Shego, and the air was musty from the contents of long-unopened boxes.

Drakken just smiled his lopsided grin. He wasn't ready to gloat. Yet. Just a few more boxes, yes, just a few more...

Burly furniture movers continued to haul in boxes and crates of all shapes and sizes. The lair was getting stuffed to capacity, and beyond. Every nook and cranny had some sort of container wedged in tightly, stacked floor to ceiling. Each container was different, as if packed by a different person, often in a different decade. Or century. Age appeared to be the only thing the containers had in common.

The steady incoming stream slowed to a trickle, until the last box was brought in. Smaller than the rest, the moving foreman brought it and a clipboard to Drakken and asked for a signature. Drakken gloated, "Finally! This is it. The rest is nothing, but **this** box holds the key to giving me ultimate power over the earth! At long last I shall rule over every creature on the planet, and all must bow to my might! Arrgh, stupid pen's dry. Shego, do you have another pen?"

After the movers inched their way out past the crowded lair, Drakken tore open the small box and lifted out a shiny, golden amulet. "Nice bling, Doc," said Shego. "It'll go great with your outfit. Really offsets your eyes. Really."

"This jewelry is more than just 'bling', Shego," he replied, eyes glued to the coin-sized gold trinket hanging from a sturdy chain. "It is the key to my domination of all creatures, great and small. It shall lead me to the source of **ultimate power**! _Mwah ha haa hahahaaaaaa_!"

Shego waved a hand and brushed dust from her outfit. "Wait, waitwaitwaitaminute. How is _that_ little thing going to make you the ultimate ruler? And why did we have to get the rest of this junk just to get the necklace?"

"Online estate auction. All or nothing. Oh, there is one other thing we'll need in this mountain of mildewed boxes. The technicians should have it hooked up by now." He wound through the unsteady towers of boxes to the door to the basement. Even the stairs were crammed with crates, but the bottom of the stairway opened to a mostly clear area, cluttered only by large panels scattered near the walls. At the far end of the large basement stood a bank of computers, their shiny lights blinking against the dark ring dominating the rest of the room. It was about eighteen or twenty feet tall and had strange markings inscribed on an inner ring. A series of equally spaced chevrons on the outer portion of the ring were pointed inward. Technicians bustled around it and another squat elliptical console set off to the side. A few opened boxes were stacked near a large freight elevator door to the right, stone tablets haphazardly stacked on top of the crates.

Drakken stalked over to the lead technician. "Well, Henderson? Status report!" Shego took up position on the other side of the unfortunate tech, next to two henchmen wrestling open a big crate.

The tech looked up and quickly wiped his brow. "Uh, we've hooked up the objects per instructions, Dr. Drakken, and we were about to test the setup with the sample coordinates," he stammered. Shego's intense stare made him very nervous.

"Very good," Drakken replied, to the tech's obvious relief. They stepped over to the elliptical console, which had a big red globe embedded in the center.

Shego looked over Drakken's shoulder at the console. None of the markings were familiar, but on closer examination she noticed the symbols on the console matched those on the big stone ring. "Looks like your shorthand notes when you're in a hurry," she told Drakken. He glared back.

"Well? What are you waiting for? Start pushing buttons!" he commanded. Henderson flinched and quickly looked at a piece of paper taped to the center of the console, where seven squiggles were carefully drawn in pencil. Henderson's hand hovered over the console, seeking the first symbol. Finding it, he pressed hard, and an audible "whump" sounded. One of the chevrons on the stone ring lit up, and the bustling techs stopped stone cold and nervously eyed their boss. "Keep it going!" Drakken snapped.

Buttons on the console lit up as Henderson continued the sequence. Other techs turned back to their work, and the henchmen opening the big crate behind Shego and Drakken finally got a panel open. It dropped to the ground with a thud. A moment later, Shego heard two other meaty thuds. She spun around in time to see Kim Possible's feet flying directly at her, Ron Stoppable close behind.

"Doctor D! We've got trouble!" Shego managed just before Kim impacted. The two women rolled on the floor in a tangle of fists and feet and hair, and technicians scrambled to get out of their way. Ron pulled up short of Drakken and dropped into a kung fu stance. Rufus climbed onto Ron's shoulder and mimicked Ron's pose. "C'mon!" he squeaked.

"Kim Possible! How is it you insinuate yourself into every single plan I devise?" he whined.

Ron grinned. "Maybe you shouldn't hang out in those villain chat rooms, dude. Or maybe you should change your screen name from 'DoctorDrakken'. Or you could avoid posting things with titles like, 'My latest doomsday plan details'. Just a suggestion." He glanced at some of the stone tablets around the wall, trying to see what the heiroglyphs looked like. "And I hope you kept the receipt for all this stuff. It's worthless, looks like somebody tagged it with grafitti."

One of the thugs behind Ron stumbled to his feet and pressed a big red button near the door. "Intruder alert. Intruder alert." Red lights, computerized voice, yadda yadda yadda. In moments the freight door opened and a horde of synthodrones poured in. These were even bigger and more imposing than the last batch that Kim defeated at the prom, two months before.

Kim and Shego continued their rolling fight on the floor. Synthodrones surrounded them, waiting for an order to attack, or for an opening to get to Kim. Neither happened.

Ron stepped back. "Man, you sure grow those things fast. Use a special fertilizer?" He didn't finish his repartee. A drone caught him from behind and tossed him over Drakken, right onto the elliptical console's big red dome. As Ron's butt hit the dome, a strange noise came from the stone ring and the final chevron lit up in red and yellow. A huge sucking sound made everybody look up, including Kim and Shego on the floor. Without warning, something shot out of the center of the ring, a spinning, silvery, liquid vortex that shone with its own weird, internal light. The vortex washed over a dozen synthodrones, barely missing Kim and Shego on the floor. After a second, the vortex retreated back to the ring, forming a rippling vertical interface that glowed of its own accord. Kim glanced around. Twenty-four smoke-shrouded boots oozed greenish goo, and the strong stench of ozone filled the air.

Shego looked at Kim. Kim looked at Shego. Warily, they disentangled and backed away from one another, slowly rising to their knees and trying to keep the stone ring as well as each other in sight. More drones flooded into the room, ignoring the ring, the steaming boots, and the absence of the boots' former occupants.

"Get them! Get Kim Possible and... and... Ron, something something. Now!" Drakken commanded from the sidelines. He clutched his golden amulet closer to his chest as drones surged around him to grab Ron.

Ron didn't wait. Jumping off the glowing console, he quickly backed toward Kim in the center of the room. Drones slowly pressed closer, backing Kim and Ron nearer to the shimmering ring. "Ooh, shiny," he said. "Whattaya think, KP? Can we take 'em?" Ron asked, pointing to the syntho-crowd closing in. Rufus chirped his own little query.

Kim surveyed the dozens of drones closing in on them. "I doubt it, Ron. Not without a big blender." A few more steps, and their backs were pressed up just against the silvery light filling the center of the stone ring. Kim remembered what the vortex had done to the drones, and didn't want any part of it. Her hair tingled this close to the shimmer.

Drakken pushed his way through the drones, meeting Shego just in front of Kim and Ron. Kim knew how to buy some time... Drakken was SO predictable sometimes. "So what's your latest plan, Drakken? Flush the whole world down a 20-foot ring? Kind of lame, even for you."

As Kim knew, Drakken couldn't resist bragging. "With this amulet, I will acquire the ULTIMATE POWER to rule over the world! Nothing can stop me! Soon, every man, woman and child will answer directly to ME as their absolute ruler. And not even YOU, Kim Possible, can stop me this time!" Smugly, he flourished the amulet in front of Kim and Ron's faces.

Ron glanced sideways at Kim and caught her eye. The two teens had been on so many missions together, and gotten to know each other so well (especially recently), that words weren't necessary. Drakken couldn't be allowed to win, regardless of what happened to them.

Straightening up, Ron looked Drakken in the eye. "No way, dude. Not this time." With monkey-ninja swiftness, Ron's hand shot out and plucked the golden amulet from Drakken's tiny gloves. Kim grabbed Ron's other hand and they looked deep into each others eyes for a split second.

In unison, Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable flung themselves backward into the glowing ripple of the stone ring, and disappeared.

* * *

Soft twilight greeted Kim's eyes after she cartwheeled to the ground. Much to her surprise, she was still alive, although that... journey... she and Ron had just gone through would stay with her a long, long time.

Ron!

Ignoring the sharp pain in her head, Kim rolled over and frantically looked for her boyfriend and his naked mole rat. He wasn't far. Groaning and clutching his head, Ron sat up and blinked at his redheaded girlfriend. Ignoring everything else, Kim hugged Ron tightly. "Air! I need air!" he gasped, and Kim let him loose. Rufus climbed out of Ron's pocket and flopped on the ground, little chest heaving.

"Are you OK, KP?" Ron asked between heavy breaths. Some of the gasping was from the bump he took, but most was from the hug - and not because he lost his breath. Wow.

"Yeah, although I've got a monster headache," she replied. "Where are we, I wonder?"

The teens looked around. They were no longer in a room... high clouds drifted across a muted blue sky above them, and rough terrain sloped gently down from their current vantage point. Behind them, a ring identical to the one in Drakken's lair held the same glowing shimmer. As Kim and Ron watched, the liquid ripples broke into shreds and drifted into nothingness, and the ring's chevron lights dimmed and finally extinguished. There was no sound other than the sighing wind.

Kim stood and helped Ron to his feet. Around them, the ground was pocked with indents like giant golf divots, and long, irregular narrow trenches extended away from the gate. "This place is swiss cheese," Ron said.

Rufus echoed Ron's sentiment. "Cheeeeeese!" he said, and patted his tummy. Ron smiled and placed the little pink mole rat on his shoulder.

About a hundred yards away, stubby rock columns rose from the ground, obviously artificial. They were spaced every dozen feet in a regular pattern, and rose to maybe 20 feet in height. Some looked like they had been sheared from above - more than a few had large shards near them, which had apparently sloughed off over time. All had ragged tops, and there were chasms and ravines that snaked between many of the pillars. The field of pillars stretched over slowly undulating land around them for several miles, with some terrain hidden by hills or valleys, before the land dropped off abruptly. It appeared they were on a plateau. In the distance, sheer white-topped mountains thrust dagger-like into the sky. The colors were all that of rock and ice: gray, blue, black, brown, dazzling white. Nowhere was there any sign of green or anything that betrayed life.

"That ring must be some type of matter transporter. Wherever we are, we're not in Kansas anymore, Toto," Kim said as she dug the Kimmunicator out of her pocket.

"Wade, can you get a GPS lock on our location? Wade? You there, Wade? Anybody? Hellooooo?" Kim shook the little device, it appeared to be functioning normally. However, nothing but static filled the screen. "Those mountains must be blocking the signal. But it's too weird we're not even picking up a satellite signal or anything. Hm." She looked around, deep in thought.

Ron continued to take deep breaths. "Man, I'm outta shape. I can hardly breathe, and I haven't even worked out today!" Kim looked at him sideways. "Well, yeah, OK, if I ever worked out, I guess." Rufus struck a He-Man pose on Ron's shoulder. "At least you're in good shape, li'l buddy," Ron told his pink friend.

"The air is thin. We're definitely in some mountain range," Kim murmured.

Ron looked at the towering spires that circled the horizon all around. "Ya think?" Kim stuck her tongue out at him, then leaned over and gently kissed his cheek.

Turning and avoiding pitfalls in the ground, she walked back to the stone ring, being careful to stay out from directly in front of it. The swirling vortex could return any time. About twenty feet from the ring, off to the side, was another elliptical console with a red globe in the center, but unlike Drakken's this one appeared lifeless. Kim bent and looked underneath - part of the column had been gutted. Wires hung loose, and there was an obvious empty spot.

She straightened and motioned to Ron. "Even if we knew how to work this thing, it looks like somebody sabotaged this one. I don't think this ring is going to help us any time soon," she said as Ron carefully hopped over a small gully and joined her.

"Yeah, but what's to keep Drakken and his goons from joining us? He's gonna want this back," Ron said, holding up the golden amulet by its chain.

"Good point. Let's get away from this thing. Maybe there's some civilization nearby where we can find a phone and beg a ride." She turned and faced Ron, and took both his hands. "I'm proud of you for what you did back at Drakken's lair." She drew him close into a strong hug and swift but intense kiss. Ron gaped like a guppy out of water, his face beet red. Kim smiled and led him across the pocked terrain.

"Any ideas about where this place is?" Ron asked casually, stepping between the first of many pillars.

"I did a report for Geography one time about a place in Peru called Machu Picchu. This kind of reminds me the pictures I saw, but it's not quite the same. Maybe this is another mountain range near it? I don't know. I've never seen anything quite like it."

The low light stayed steady as the two teens walked through the weird forest of shattered stone pillars. Easily bored, Ron fingered Drakken's amulet as they put distance between themselves and the ring. Soon they couldn't see the ring at all through the pillars, but Ron had a pretty good idea where it was, judging by the distinctive peaks in the background. He twisted the amulet around his fingers and rubbed it gently with his gloved hands.

The scenery quickly became monotonous. Kim took the lead, jumping over small gullies and ravines, sometimes backtracking to go around gaps too wide to jump. Ron went into autopilot, thinking about nothing much except maybe Kim's kiss. He smiled. Maybe she was ready to give him another. But when he looked up and around, he realized he was no longer following his girlfriend. He stopped, almost panicked, and nearly screamed for Kim. But his senses got the best of him and he stayed silent, noticing for the first time where he was.

He was in a circular clearing about 20 yards in diameter. At the center was a small altar with a stubby column in the center. Ron approached and looked at the altar, forgetting for the moment he was completely lost and separated from his only hope of survival. The top of the short column, which reached to Ron's waist, had a small indent that looked familiar. Maybe...

The amulet nested perfectly in the depression.

Suddenly, the column began to sink into the ground. Ron grabbed the amulet before it was swallowed, and backed away quickly. Panic mode reasserted itself full force, and he yelped "KP! Help!" as he kept stumbling backwards. The next thing he saw was a cloud going by; he'd tripped over something backwards, although he didn't remember anything behind him when he came up to the altar. Under his knees, Ron saw a plug of rock about 6 inches in diameter and half that thick. Next to it was a small, perfectly circular hole. "Whoa."

"Well, Rufus, only one thing to do," he said. Rufus squeaked "What?" and Ron put him by the hole. "Time for recon. Be careful."

The little mole rat backed away. "Uh uh."

Ron was miffed. "What, you're gonna let a dark hole in a mysterious place get you freaked? What kind of attitude is that? Are you scared?"

"Uh huh, uh huh."

"Me too. OK, we'll wait for Kim. **KIIII-IIMM**!"

The wait wasn't long. Ron heard a beeping noise and the crunch of Kim's boots on the rocky soil before he saw her. As she rounded a final column before entering the circle, he saw her stuff the Kimmunicator in her pocket, and the beeping stopped.

"Where did you get off to? Ron, you've got to be more careful," she said, giving him a quick hug. "I was worried sick."

"Sorry, KP, I guess I spaced out." He looked down at the amulet. Could it...? Naaaah. "Hey, how'd you find me? I thought my voice was gonna echo everywhere and you'd have a hard time finding me."

Kim looked around quickly, and Ron would almost have thought she looked guilty. "Um, I guess I got a pretty good lock on you when you yelled," she said quickly. "Hey, what's this? Find something interesting?"

Ron picked up the circular plug of rock. "Maybe. Not sure. Could be. I guess. I put this amulet thingy in the hold, look what popped up. How do we find out what's down the scary hole?"

With a quick flick of her wrist, Kim turned on a pocket flashlight. "Ohhhh, gotcha," Ron said sheepishly. "Guess I'm not very bright. Ha, bright, get it, Rufus?" The naked mole rat groaned and then looked into the hole.

"Something's down there, it's sort of sparkly," Kim said. "I think I can just... reach... it. There, gotcha!" She drew her hand up holding a cylinder that glowed faintly. It had odd cuts and shapes in it, and looked crystalline. "I think we'll hold on to this. If it's what Drakken was looking for, we need to make sure he never gets it." She turned Ron around and put the cylinder in his backpack. "Let's go."

Without warning, the ground around them shook and dropped away. Kim and Ron flung themselves toward safety, Kim's fingers barely getting a purchase on the side of a newly-opened chasm. Ron missed the edge, but managed to grab Kim's feet and dangle above what felt like a bottomless abyss. "Terra firma isn't firma anymore!" he wailed.

Kim's fingers started to slip. With Ron's weight pulling her down, she couldn't get enough of a grip to pull them back up. Slowly, her fingers slid closer and closer to the edge. With a little lurch, the soil gave way and she began to freefall - until a strong hand flashed down and grabbed her wrist, and began pulling her up.

"You're not getting out of answering questions that easily," a strong male voice said as she and Ron were placed back on solid ground.

* * *

There were four of them, three men and a woman. The voice belonged to the obvious leader of the group, a handsome military type in his mid forties with silvering hair. They were bristling with weapons, although none were pointed at the teens, and despite the armament, Kim didn't get the impression they were going to hurt anyone who didn't try to hurt them first. But the big guns were nevertheless a potent reminder of who was in charge at the moment.

"Thank you, uh, mister..." Kim began, extending her hand.

"Colonel Jack O'Neil, SG-1." He ignored her hand and she quickly lowered it. Without taking his eyes off her or Ron, he nodded to the others in his party. "This is Major Carter," he indicated an attractive blonde woman, "Teal'c," he said of the muscular black man toting a curious staff, "and the darling of our little kaffeeklatch, Dr. Daniel Jackson." The last was toward a young man who looked slightly out of place in military fatigues, and who in some ways reminded Kim of Ron.

"I'm Kim Possible, and this is Ron Stoppable," she introduced herself and her friend. "We're, well, kinda lost."

The young man introduced as Dr. Jackson stepped forward. "Where are you from? Is there a village or some sort of civilization nearby?" he asked eagerly. O'Neil motioned him back. "Easy there, sparky."

Ron stepped up. "No, we're not from around here. Definitely not locals, if you catch my drift. We took a shortcut. Hey, could you guys give us a ride home, by any chance?"

"You haven't told us where you're from," O'Neil reminded him.

"Oh yeah, good old Middleton. Can't miss it. Well, you can if you're not paying attention to the street signs, you might accidentally get off at Lowerton or Upperton, but that's ferociously unlikely if you're at least awake..." Dr. Jackson cut him off.

"Mid El Taan," Jackson pronounced, making it sound Arabic. "I've never heard of it. Is that the name of your planet, or your village?"

Ron cocked an eyebrow. "Yeah, right, whatever. Don't suppose you've got a map along with all those big, shiny guns, do you? I can show you." After all, how far away could Peru be from Middleton?

It was Kim's turn to raise an eyebrow. "If I recall, you flunked geography and had to make it up in summer school. You couldn't tell the difference between..."

Her rebuke was cut short by a shrill, familiar voice. "Get them!" Drakken's voice called, and dozens of synthodrones darted around pillars and began converging on the little group. Rufus squeaked in panic and dove into Ron's pants pocket.

The four newcomers were on their feet in an instant, weapons unslung and ready. "Wait for it," O'Neil told his team. He raised his voice as the synthodrones drew nearer. "Stop or we'll open fire! This is your only warning!" The drones gave no indication they heard him and continued their swift advance.

"Open fire!" Three guns opened up and began spitting lead at the drones. Fiery stitches laced the humanoid drones and they began falling in mid-stride, oozing green synthoplasma all over the rocky ground. Some, perforated by repeated bursts from the newcomers' powerful weapons, popped when they went down, covering the landscape with a disgusting, pghlegmy decor. One drone dodged enough bullets to grab Ron. "KP!" he yelled, but she was busy avoiding the swinging fists of another drone.

The big warrior, Teal'c, heard Ron and swung his curious staff toward Ron and the drone attacking him. The bulbous head of Teal'c's staff split into four pieces, and tongues of energy licked along the vicious-looking weapon. A single burst caught the drone in the head, inches away from Ron's face. The drone exploded into an oozy mass of green, splattering Ron, O'Neil, Kim, and Teal'c. "Hey! Coulda warned a guy," Ron chastised. Teal'c wordlessly turned around and fired on other drones that continued to attack.

"Teal'c," O'Neil called from where he was mowing down drones.

"Yes, O'Neil."

"Don't do that again."

"Indeed."

Drakken's synthodrones were no match for the weapons weilded by O'Neil's group, and soon there were no unpunctured drones left vertical. Steaming green goo settled into the soil as the the SG team and the two teens scrambled away from the slippery mess.

"Booyah! Somebody's drones got owned," Ron chortled.

Kim looked warily at the columns. "Careful, Drakken's still around here somewhere, and probably Shego too. He's not going to be happy," she predicted.

O'Neil caught Carter's eye and made a hand gesture, then another at Teal'c. They sped off in different directions. O'Neil glanced back at the teens struggling out of the gooey remains of Drakken's army. "Stay put, keep low. We'll be right back." Crouching down, he dashed toward the nearest row of stone pillars. Jackson pulled himself out of the messy area and settled down low, watching the pillars for movement.

Kim sat down and faced Ron. "Well, I guess **we've** been told," she grumped. A Possible was used to giving orders, not taking them. However, she did have to admit these people knew what they were doing, and they managed to wipe out Drakken's henchdrones with a minimum of effort. And besides, the leader wasn't tough to look at, not tough at all...

Her reverie was cut short by a strong, gloved hand wrapped around her throat. "Got yourself some new friends, do you, princess? How's it feel to be playing with the big boys and their big toys? I bet you feel all special," Shego growled into Kim's ear.

"Better than you're going to feel in a minute, Shego," Kim hissed back as she arched her back and threw Shego off-balance. Kim spun into Shego's embrace and head-bopped her, which didn't help her headache at all.

Disoriented, Shego didn't notice Ron quietly standing to the side. She rushed toward Kim but was stopped short by Ron's extended arm across her throat. The clothesline was especially sweet for Ron, who finally had the opportunity to pay Shego back for the vicious maneouver she'd played on him back at Bueno Nacho headquarters, two months and half a lifetime ago. Shego was unconcious before she hit the ground.

"Suh-weet!" Ron said under his breath, and helped Kim stand up.

Kim smiled weakly. "Nice move, Ron. Thanks."

"Payback's a naughty little female dog, isn't it, KP?"

"Booyah."

Daniel Jackson stood over Shego, then reached down and put a plastic handcuff around her wrists, binding them behind her. "I take it she's not a friend of yours or anything," he asked.

"You could say that."

The others returned, and they too had a prize. Drakken stumbled ahead, arms bound tightly behind him as he lurched toward the teens and Jackson standing over Shego. "This is **not** the way this was supposed to work," Drakken grumbled. Carter held up a weird Z-shaped pistol and Drakken recoiled, even though he had no idea what it was. "I'll be good, I promise." He lowered his voice. "For now."

Jackson turned away from Shego and started questioning Kim. "So you're a princess? Would you mind describing a little bit of the social structure of your village for me? I'm always curious as to how royalty is perceived by different cultures."

Kim, perplexed, started to sputter some disclaimer, but Ron piped in quickly. "She's too modest, I'll be happy to fill you in later. She's definitely going to be queen bee someday."

"Ron!"

* * *

The group, now grown to eight, including two handcuffed prisoners and two "guests" of indetermine status, trekked a few hundred yards away from the scene of the battle to get away from the stench of decaying syntho goo. Most of the goo had been combed out of hair and clothes, but Kim and Ron felt they would need each about an hour in the shower to feel anywhere near clean.

O'Neil came over and sat by Kim and Ron. "So you're telling me that there's nobody nearby, no technology around here, nothing but these stupid phallic pillars that do nothing but obscure my field of fire. Is that about right?"

Kim shrugged. "Not that we've seen. Remember, we're from a ways away. Speaking of which, any chance you've got a phone or something we could..."

"You ruined my chance at ultimate power!" Drakken yelled toward Kim and Ron, having had enough of being ignored. "I'll get you for this, Kimberly Ann Possible and your, whatever name he is!"

O'Neil nodded toward Drakken. "What's his deal? The guy doesn't seem to be playing with a full deck, if you know what I mean. And what does he mean by ultimate power?"

Again, Kim shrugged. Ron, bored, wandered over to watch Carter take notes from some hand-held instrument.

"I think he's got some new mad 'take over the world' plot that's gone sour again, although I don't know exactly how. You know, foiling him never gets old." Kim nodded toward Shego. "But I could do without the constant fights with her."

O'Neil nodded. "Yeah, there's always something sweet that clicks when you save the world one more time, know what I mean?"

Kim smiled and looked at him. O'Neil, when he wasn't giving orders, was actually very charming and funny, and now that she was close up, he was VERY good looking... like Ron but with more style. She couldn't help a girlish giggle escape, and blushed with embarrasment.

Ron sat next to Carter, who was putting some instrument away. "Whatcha doing?" he asked casually.

"Scanning for spacetime disruptions to calculate the timing of an alien armada dropping out of hyperspace above this planet," she said just as casually.

Not blinking, Ron replied, "Gotcha. Don't let me keep ya."

Carter looked up, and smiled a pixie grin which took five years off her face. "You have no idea what I just said, do you?"

"None whatsoever. But do I let that stop me from having a pleasant conversation? I do not."

Carter's grin faded. "Well, I need to tell the Colonel what I've found. He needs to know." She gestured toward where O'Neil and Kim were talking, heads bowed together. Ron heard a giggle and felt a deep, irrational stab of jealousy.

"Does the colonel dude always have girls flirting with him? That's just not fair," Ron pouted.

Carter glanced at Ron, and gave O'Neil a long, strange stare before replying. "Women falling for the colonel is... not uncommon," she said.

"Gotta get me some of that, whatever it is," Ron muttered, completely missing the look Carter was giving O'Neil.

Getting up, Carter excused herself and walked over to O'Neil. "Sir, my calculations show little more than 30 minutes before it starts."

"Very good, Captain. Let's have a little pow-wow with everybody and see what our options are."

"Yessir. I'll gather the group by that big rock," Carter replied.

O'Neil leaned back down to Kim. "Now it's your turn to talk to us. We need to know where you came from, how you got here, and if there's anything you can do to help us."

Kim was surprised. "Help you? We're the ones that need help..."

Ron, still watching Kim and O'Neil talking in low voices, strolled over to Teal'c, who was guarding a sullen Drakken and now-conscious Shego. "Dude, do you really need that big staff to beat everybody?" The sight of Kim having an intimate conversation with somebody other than him was triggering some foolish bravado in Ron, and while he knew he didn't like it, he couldn't help himself.

"I do not." Teal'c carefully placed his staff well out of reach of the prisoners, then quickly grabbed Ron's shirt with one massive hand. Without straining, the big warrior lifted Ron completely off the ground and swung him over a black chasm that could've been miles deep for all Ron knew.

Ron gulped. "OK, bad example. But I bet you never had a naked mole rat come to your rescue before, either. Rufus! You're on." The little mole rat scampered out of Ron's pocket and made squeaking, indignant faces at the big man.

Teal'c swung Ron back over onto the ground and plopped him down. "Your method of self defense is most intriguing, if ineffective. That one so puny could show little fear in the face of overwhelming danger is a sign of either intense courage or great ignorance."

Rufus scrambled back into Ron's pocket. "Dude, that's no way to talk to a guy's naked mole rat," he chastised Teal'c, still dangling.

"I was not referring to your captive rodent," the big man replied.

"Just you remember that, chief," Ron said, not quite sweating as Teal'c put him down. Now that he could see past Teal'c's arm, Ron saw just how far down the chasm went. Not gonna hurl, he told himself shakily, not gonna hurl...

Carter gathered everybody near a big rock, which O'Neil leaned against with one leg up. "OK, listen up everybody. We don't have a lot of time here. Here's a quick synopsis for those of you joining the party late. We're members of SG-1, from a planet called Earth..." He saw the strange looks the teens and villains were giving him. "What?"

Ron said, "Dude, this is like Peru! What's all this 'we're from a planet called Earth' jazz? I mean, like, no duh!"

Jackson stood up and looked down at Ron. "You mean to tell me you're from Earth? Do you think you're on Earth right now?"

"Doy." Jackson wrinkled his brow at Ron's reply. "That means _yes_."

Carter brought out her little instrument. "You're actually on a planet about 5000 light years from Earth, which we've named P4X-589. You're on the only part of it that we've been able to examine. These pillars were made by an alien civilization that was destroyed more than 10,000 years ago."

"You are absolutely kidding me."

"No kidding here," Carter told Ron. "We're part of a secret organization that travels to other planets through the stargate..."

Kim raised her hand. "You mean that stone circle thing?"

Carter nodded. "Yes. How did you gain access to one on Earth? We have a... limited number of them available, all heavily guarded."

Kim nodded at Drakken. "Talk to the Doc. It was his toy."

All eyes swiveled to Drakken, who squirmed under the attention. "I found out about it in an online chat, all right? And bought a particular estate in an online estate liquidation, OK? This guy sold me the information and I was going to get the source of ultimate power to rule over the world! Mwah ha haaaaa..."

Carter shut his rant short. "We've always suspected additional limited gate technology has made it to the criminal underworld, but this is the first time we've actually seen a new, black market stargate. Sir, we have to get back to Earth and confiscate it," she told O'Neil.

"Working on it, Captain." He turned back to Kim and Ron. "So you went through this gate on Earth and ended up here. Where'd you think you were?"

"Kim said something like Matchstick Pickup," Ron said.

"Macchu Piccu," she corrected.

Daniel Jackson nodded. "It does bear a certain resemblance to the overall terrain, although the pillars are of course a big difference. I can see where you may have gotten that impression. So you had no idea you'd travelled thousands of lightyears when you stepped through the chapa'ai?"

"One small step for Ron, one big step for Middleton High!" Ron said. Rufus cheeped encouragement.

Kim shook her head, looking a little dazed. "No idea. And you guys do this all the time, you say?"

Carter continued, "Yes. We came here looking for technology to help us in our fight against... some really bad beings. We had some tips that this plateau used to have something that negated gravity. We have inertial dampeners but they're strictly limited, we could really use the ability to control gravity itself. These pillars are super-strong, collapsed and shielded neutronium activated by nano-electric..."

"Captain."

"Sorry sir. Well, it turns out that these pillars held up massively collapsed crystals. They were so massive they had their own local gravity field that countered the planet's field. You'd effectively have zero gravity underneath them. However, over time they shifted and collapsed, creating the chasms and indents in the ground here. Unfortunately, this isn't technology that could be used on starships or is portable. Besides, this area is decayed and very unstable."

O'Neil nodded. "Yeah, tell me about that." He addressed Ron and Kim. "You may have noticed when you came through the gate that the DHD is inoperable."

"DHD?" Kim and Ron asked in unison. "Jinx!"

"Dial Home Device, it dials the gate. The power source had been stripped, we think by a Goa'uld raider."

Ron smiled. "You're ringing the doorbell, but nobody's home. What's a 'goold'?"

"Never mind," O'Neil said. "But the bottom line is, we're stuck here without a way to get back. That means you, too. The good news is, we won't have a lot of time to cry in our beer, even if we had any beer. Which we don't. Dammit."

Shego spoke for the first time. "What's the rush?"

O'Neil looked up. "We're expecting... visitors. Party crashers, actually. Not the kind you'd bring home to momma. And we've got... how long, Carter?"

The blonde soldier looked at her watch. "25 minutes."

"Let's cut to the chase," O'Neil told them all. "Anybody have anything that can help repel an invading horde of technologically advanced critters?"

"Dr. Drakken gets some pretty potent BO when he doesn't shower regularly," Shego quipped.

"I'm not going to use that shampoo, I'm sick and tired of your little pranks. I'm still picking pinecone needles out of my..."

"Enough." O'Neil was serious. "If there's nothing anybody here can do, we're going to hoof it back to the gate where we at least have a decent field of fire. Everybody up, we move out now."

It was a long trot, and Ron and Drakken were both panting heavily by the time the circular ring became visible. Both fell to the ground wheezing while the others took up defensive positions. Carter looked at the empty spot on the DHD and shook her head. "Damn. They ripped the power source out. And the ground's too unstable to send a heavy naquedah generator through."

"All right, here's the plan," said O'Neil. "Let 'em come, blast the hell out of them, and capture whatever landing craft they come in. Then we use that power source, hook it up, and gate home. Questions? Don't ask, I'm busy. Take your places, everybody."

The four armed members of SG-1 circled the other four. O'Neil looked at the teens and decided not to offer them a weapon.

"Carter, do we know who it is yet?"

"No sir. Probably Goa'uld, but no guarantee."

"Fine, snakeheads. Or Jaffa. Let's hope they bring a landing craft with a little juice. Let's look sharp, kids."

Pinpricks of light dotted the skies, growing long fiery streaks as the invaders came down in one, dozens, hundreds of entry trails. Gunshot-loud staccato impacts rang across the barren landscape.

"How many bloody snakeheads are coming, anyway?" a frustrated O'Neil asked. Nobody answered.

One fireball landed in the clearing between the group at the stargate and the beginning of the stone pillars. From the slight elevation, it appeared tiny... too tiny to hold more than one person. In fact, far too tiny for even a single person...

The rough exterior cracked open, and a metallic insectile leg poked out, then another, and a third and fourth. It shivered its back wings and began walking slowly uphill. The thing was soon joined by dozens more, and in moments the pillar plains became a carpet of movement.

O'Neil gripped his rifle more tightly. "Great. Replicators. It had to be replicators. I hate those damn bugs."

Behind him, Kim Possible watched the mass of mechanical bugs stalk closer toward them, and she couldn't stop shaking.

* * *

The gun blasts were deafening. Even in close quarters, the weird metal bugs kept coming, climbing mountains of their deceased brethren. P90 blasts rang out again and again, pausing only for the occasional reload. Ron and Kim crouched in the relative safety of the semicircle formed by O'Neil's team, along with Shego and Drakken.

"Untie me and I can help," Shego yelled during a brief lull in the gunfire. O'Neil shrugged, and Kim cut the plastic bonds holding her hands behind her back. Kim backed away and watched as Shego started throwing green plasma at the encroaching replicator mass. Each green blast shattered another replicator, but it was obvious Shego couldn't keep it going indefinitely. Kim settled down and watched the carnage, wishing she could do something constructive. She hated feeling helpless, and she knew Ron felt the same. Kim leaned back against Ron but rebounded after hitting something hard in his pack.

"Hold still," Kim told her boyfriend as she dug in his pack. A moment's rooting around produced the cylinder Ron had found earlier in the circular clearing. "Colonel, Ron found something earlier. Could this help?" She held the cylinder up.

Carter yelped, "A ZPM! That's exactly what we need, it should provide more than enough power to get the gate going. Where'd you find it?"

"At the clearing where you found us. Ron put some amulet thing in the depression and this came out." Carter grabbed it and scooted over to the pedestal where the wires hung loose. Digging out a tool kit, she started hooking wires up. "It's a Zero Point Module, created by who we call the Ancients."

Drakken perked up. "You used MY amulet? That thing is mine, by all rights! I demand that you hand it over," he yelled, straining to look dignified while on his knees, hands tied behind his back. "It will bring me the power to rule the world!"

O'Neil snorted in between gun bursts. "The only power it'll get you is if you plug your blender into it. Then you'll get juice." BAM bang bang.

His blue face crestfallen, Drakken stammered, "You mean it won't let me dominate the world? And I was so ready for it this time, too. A battery, nothing more than a stupid battery," he mumbled.

"Carter, how we doin'?" O'Neil yelled.

"One more minute, sir!"

"Daniel, get ready to dial the gate. Teal'c, prepare to cover our exit on Carter's mark, and watch the prisoners. You kids ready to leave?"

Kim bristled at being called a kid, but Ron nodded enthusiastically. "Sir yes sir!" he yelled over the din. The bugs were getting close, and Kim backed up closer to Ron. Although he loved having her this close, he fervently wished it were for a better reason.

"Done!" Captain Carter shouted. Daniel began pushing symbols, and after a few moments a familiar vortex swirled out from the center of the gate.

"We are leaving!" called O'Neil, backing toward the shimmering circle and firing ferociously at the oncoming metallic bug horde. "Carter, signal SGC that we're comin' through hot!"

Doctor Drakken crouched by the gate, not wanting to go through but fearing what those nasty bugs would do if they caught him. He also was not ready to leave "his" power source. "You all go through, I'll be right after!"

"I do not think you will," said Teal'c, who picked Drakken up bodily and tossed him through the portal. Shego watched and saw the big man would have no compunction about bundling her through as well. She smiled, stepped up demurely, and walked through. Kim and Ron were next, dashing for the gate at a crouching run. Hand in hand, they plowed into the gate and disappeared. The members of SG-1 expertly withdrew one by one, Jack O'Neil covering their exit. With titanium pincers nipping at his boots, O'Neil plunged through the gate to the safety of the SGC complex.

* * *

Kim and Ron watched the familiar sight of Drakken and Shego being hauled off in chains. "Y'know, that never gets old," Ron said to Kim. Smiling, Kim led him away to the debriefing room.

"I'm General Hammond, welcome to this facility. It seems we have a distinguished guest among us today, the infamous Kim Possible. May I say what an honor it is to have you here, and how pleased we are that we're able to help get you home." The bald man shook Kim's hand gently, and Ron's with more force. Ron rubbed his hand when the general wasn't looking.

"Didn't you used to be in charge of Area 51?" Kim asked. Sure looked like the same general, same bald head, same Texas accent...

Hammond smiled and shook his head. "That's a common mistake. No, quite different. But I understand you've visited Area 51. Quite the interesting place, or so I'm told.

"Back to business. We're having a team acquire the gate that Dr. Drakken bought, and they'll ship it to us here, where we can take proper care of it. I'm sure you understand the necessity to keep such technology under tight scrutiny."

Kim smiled. "Absolutely, general. It sounds like a win-win situation all the way around. I was just wondering if we could possibly get a ride back to Middleton, though."

"Of course, young lady. But you and your friend are welcome back here whenever you need to come." Colonel O'Neil raised an eyebrow.

"Um, general sir, pardon me for bringing up such a mundane thing as 'national security,' but I believe there are security protocols that need to be followed. I'm not sure where offering an open invitation to a teenage cheerleader is covered in the security regs."

Smiling, Hammond replied, "You're correct, colonel. We checked Miss Possible's security clearance. It's actually one level higher than yours."

Long pause. "Oh."

"Mr. Stoppable is welcome on escorted visits, of course," Hammond told Kim.

"Booyah! I get to go to other planets! How spankin' cool is THAT?"

Kim stood and shook the General's hand. "Thank you, sir. I'm sure we'll be back some time." She turned to Colonel O'Neil. "And thank you, Colonel, for everything. It's a pleasure to see such a professional team in action."

O'Neil stood as well and extended his hand. "Thank you, Miss Possible. From what I hear, you could teach us a thing or two about saving the world. Maybe we'll get the chance to work together again in the future." Kim shook his strong hand, and Ron thought it lingered in his grasp just a little too long. He stuck his out quickly.

"Same here, Mr. Colonel. Let's do Bueno Nacho sometime, my treat." He quickly shook the colonel's hand.

"You like Bueno Nacho? Cool. I love those Naco things they've got."

Kim turned to Ron and took his hand, grasping it tightly. "Let's go home."


End file.
